Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
