I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
