If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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