A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
