Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
