i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
