Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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