You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
