I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
