Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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