Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
