Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
