I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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