i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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