About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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