so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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