evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well you can't waste a boner
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Randomize
