Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
