East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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