You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
