Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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