I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
