I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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