ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Success! We fucked roommates!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
