I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
