i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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