Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
what is it with giant penises always finding me
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize