I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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