I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
