Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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