I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
