is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
