Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
