Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
