im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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