woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
