No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
