I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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