Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
