is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
