I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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