Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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