All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
