I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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