Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
