I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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