I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize