So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
