my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
