if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
