my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
