If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dicks are not precious.
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