I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
