her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
