Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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