I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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